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Big Guys and Little Umbrellas


Goodness where to begin on this wonderful subject.

Let me set the scene for you.  So its a beautiful Tuesday afternoon.  Its cloudy as hell and you can literally smell the rain that's about to pour from the sky.  Even the air feels moist as you walk through it.  So I'm standing at the bus stop looking up and thinking "Oh man, am I gonna get wet or what?"  But the bus arrives and I hop on right as the sky opens up and begins sobbing like mad.  I can't help but feel special that nature chose to cry right when I wasn't in any danger. 

I ride the bus for about one stop and there at the next stop is probably one of the biggest guys I've ever seen.  I'm talking huge, fucking huge.  And the poor guy is standing there trying to shield his large body with a little umbrella.  I even laugh to myself at the slightly humorous sight.  His head and some of his torso managed to stay dry, but his sides are completely soaked.  He gets on the bus and guess where he chooses to sit?  Next to me.  SMASHING choice. 

To give you an idea how big this guy is, he's big to the point where he can sit down and his arms and sides actually touch and seriously spill over into the seats on his right and left.  So funny enough, I WAS dry.  But his completely soaked left side just made my completely dry right side completely soaked.  I wasn't really mad or pissed off.  It was funny to me, but probably not funny to the person on his right.  They probably don't have my awesome sense of humor.